Thursday, 23 August 2012

Are You Dancin'?

Are you the dancer or the choreographer?

The Dance

Both dance the same dance
The creator and the created
Own the same truth to dance the same dance
And hence the grace

If you see the green of the leaves
The shine of the crystal
And the black of the night
You realize it is the same dance
The artiste and the art

What dawns on the creator
To push the veil
To run the rail
Until movement happens
Who else is the movement but the moved
Yes, both dance the same dance
And hence the true grace

Where does the dance go
Having come with the dancer?
What could then dance be
Other than the dancer
And hence the fluid grace

Since they dance the same dance
The dance remains
And hence the grace

Bhaswat Chakraborty

Just kick up your heels and dance ... then perhaps you will find you are one and the same ... dancer and creator both.

The Dreadess xx

Sunday, 19 August 2012

Gaia's Garden

At the FreeSpirit Community Summer Camp recently I had the honour of wandering the woods there and setting up yet another sacred space. Those woods are very magickal. It's tangibly full of other beings, big and small. I've worked these woods before, once creating a candle lit labyrinth, with some strange happenings during the building and last year setting up my first ever moon lodge, (and look where that went!). Each time the setting up in itself has been a time of learning and wonder for me and one of deep communion with nature and the divine. There is an energy point in the woods too which makes it perfect for meditation and the opening of heart and mind. It is this place of power, a natural circle with a temple ceiling of leaves against the sky, which I use as a focus for my sacred spaces. From the main camp there is a natural doorway almost square in shape, made of oak, ash and thorn, that leads to a gulley you have to cross to get to this magickal otherworld. There is grass beneath your feet and even a pond. Perfect.

The little winding earth trail I made entered the woods just behind the Heart Tipi. There were beautiful quotes about our green mother painted on to canvas in brown and gold affixed with twig frames in the trees. My friend Sarah and I spent a pleasant, chatty age wiring and stitching those woody borders. Every now and then a gilt frame would draw your eye to something rather special, but you had to look hard for the secret. One very small oval frame revealed a tiny pool of water, no bigger than an inch across, hidden between the leaves in a hollow in a mossy trunk. Another frame, fantastically placed with credit to Sarah, (who says she isn't creative at all ... I'm begging to differ my love), took your view beyond the fence to another part of the woodland. I added here and their amongst the roots and mosses little stones, a couple of special shells, some feathers and crystals, even some sheep's wool.

In one alcove sat a clay goddess, especially made on site for the space by Mags, our crafty ceramicist. The little earth mother knelt inside her knotted home proud, big breasted and round bellied.

From the last gateway between the trees, marked by the small labyrinth with the John Muir's quote and the humongous shell, we stepped into Gaia's Garden.

Here I built a small shelter, decorated with ivy, fern and glossy rhododendron. Inside was a small shrine to Mother Nature herself, with hand painted candle jars, a wonderful woody vagina, an earthen clay bowl made by my son and a stone goddess. The little stone goddess reminds me of something from neolithic times. I was looking for a clay goddess only days before I went to camp for this space, then my friend just gave me this one. She was perfect. Elaine had picked her up, as she would on her wanderings, and the stone called my name apparently, so she took her home painted the gold and copper spiral and voilĂ  ... one little stone goddess fit for a tiny tent temple.

Outside in the garden itself, was large round slice of an oak, a little seat, a three branched piece of willow, a piece of crack willow which fell in storm years ago that had been home to a woodpecker I used to watch, some wiggly wood found on a shamanic journey some time back and a massive tangled bit of branch complete with bird's nest.

The oak circle had been loving planed and polished by our patient hedge witch, Ian. It was he too that put together the bench out of bits I found in the wood and it was from his garden that the willow branched had come. We were having a conversation, like you do over a cuppa in the kitchen, about me working with, at the time, the goddess of the underworld Hecate, then we both looked and commented on the high wind, went back to chatting, then looked back in shock to see that a large chunk, and I mean a few meters of bough, had deposited itself silently outside the window. The willow is one of Hecate's trees so it's my fault it came down apparently. The gift as given has been use in many wands and the like ... and some in Gaia's Garden. Strangely when the garden was finished Ian and I realised that the three things he had made or brought for the garden I had placed in a perfect triangle reflecting the triangle of the canvas. Subtle symmetry showing us that where there is Goddess, God is there too.

Upon the beautiful piece of oak, which I'm lucky enough to have home with me now, I created a mandala offering. In the twisted tree fall, in the old, large bird's nest I placed an egg like stone, which filled the palm of my hand. If you cared to look you would see the imprint of a tiny shell no bigger than a little fingernail.

At night the carefully placed candle jars lit the whole trail giving it a whole new dimension. The canvas shrine herself looked from a distance like a cloaked hag wandering the woodlands.

I enjoyed making this space so much and I spent quite some time in and around the woods, lounging on the grass staring up and in meditation in the shrine. I feel very blessed.

The down side is closing the energetic space and carefully packing everything away ... but endings always mean new beginnings ... and a very full car.

I hope you've enjoyed this little woodland wander with me. Just remember to go and find your own earth trails and sit for while in Gaia's Garden.

The Dreadess xx

Thank you to Ian, Sarah, Elaine and Mags for your wonderful contributions.

Friday, 17 August 2012


Recently I had the pleasure of meeting Lady Cunt Love. She, along with two others, The Cuntess and Queen Clit, are making juicy waves in Brighton and elsewhere advocating the reclamation of the word cunt by us females.

I have to admit I've been slow on the uptake of this one. This word has been used for so long as an extremely derogatory term and still causes shock waves when uttered that I hated it. I hated not what it represented, but the way it was used. I hate all terms of offence that denote such sacred parts and places being use in such a way and resist also those terms derived from male genitalia.

In truth I didn't really know the origins of the word cunt, so have never taken it back for myself and reclaimed my cunt. I have now done a little research and found out much cunt relatedness.

The word cunt is the only word that encompasses the whole female genitalia. Vagina only refers to the passage in to the musky depths and vulva only to the lips and clitoris. We need the word cunt to speak of the whole wonderful feminine woohoo ... and we need the etymology of it to be understood properly.

I'm slightly ashamed that it's taken me till now to assimilate that this little four lettered word, which makes you flinch, is a word derived of goddess origins and has been used by many cultures in one form or another as part of sacred language and amongst classes of priestesses.

So here is a little history lesson for you ... as learned by me two hours ago ...

Our word cunt is thought to have derived from the Proto-German word Kunto, but that in itself comes from the Indo-European word Kunti. Beautiful Kunti was a Hindu Goddess who had a powerful mantra which she incanted to summon any of the Gods to her,to father a child. Here she is as worshipped today.

Most of the pictures I've found of her depict her in flowing white robes, head covered, with hands in prayer, Mother Mary style. After summoning and conceiving a child with the sun god Surya he restores her virginity (another Mother Mary, holy virgin theme going on). So there she is, mistress of sexual power, but ever pristine and pure ... Kunti.

Therefore the word cunt derives from a time before Proto-Indo European language came to India. That language comes from the Aryans, whose origins are from Europe and Central Asia, who invaded India 3500 years ago.

The word has retained it's sacred meanings, that of feminine power and mystery, in those languages, but in our modern day completely lost and spoiled. It found it's way though to the Celtic and Proto-German language giving us a ton of offspring (excuse the pun).

There are some writings about the prefix cu being essentially feminine, giving us a whole host of words from it. It also interests me that cu is linked to knowledge and both can (to be able to) and ken (to know) stem from this. Apparently the root word cun has two paths of meaning coming from it, one is the mother and the other is knowledge. This is a clue here as to why the word was sullied, as with most of the sacred feminine mysteries, too much power, knowledge and 'cun'ning in those there parts. You can 'con'ceive an idea or a child. Words for blood relatives, kin or kind, (words which in origin refer to the matrilineal line only) come from the same derivation as kin, the wedge like opening of the Goddess.

That wonderous wedge shape gave us 'cun'iform the first writing, in Ancient Sumeria ... and this came to my mind ... that on the whole little girls learn to read, write and speak earlier and easier than boys.

I've also found out that the prefixes Ku, Cu, Qu, Qw and Kh give us a whole sacred circle of feminine deities.

Kunta means woman in several African languages. Khan which means the chief for a certain matriarchal society of steppe nomads. Cunda is mother of Buddha in Japanese. Cunti-Devi is another Goddess of 'kun'dalini energy. Kunta means literally one who has female genitalia and was used as a sacred term for a priestess in Sumeria. An oriental goddess called Cunti was also known as Yoni of the Universe. Kunthus was a Greek goddess. Cunina was a Canaanite goddess who protected children and her priestess were known as Khnt. Kun was another Indian Goddess of mercy. Quani was a Korean goddess. Qudshu a female priestess of ancient Phoenicia. Qu (like cu) also means love, sensuality and sexuality of the Divine Feminine. Interestingly too, Kunda were illegitimate female children and were thought of as precious holy gifts from the Goddess Kunda. To the Chinese, Kunda were females having no natural connection with their fathers. Qu or cu also found its way to the Welsh cw giving us cwm meaning valley, the landscapes very own deep fertile vaginas. From cwm we get coombe which is part of many place names and surnames and quim which I always associate with Victorian erotica and always says origin unknown if you look it up. Not so unknown now though, eh.

We also get our word queen from the Old English cuman and cwene, which became quean. Other related terms are the Oromotic qena, the Lowland Scottish quin, the Dutch kween, the Old Higher German quena and quina, the Gothic quens and qino, the Germanic kwenon and kwaeniz, the Old Norse kvaen, kvan, kvenna, and kvinna, the Middle English queene and quene.

At the end of all this I find I have reclaimed this powerful word. I have taken it back for me personally. I'm proud to own a cunt, I'm proud to be a priestess of cunt and I'm proud to be queen of my domain. When I told my son I was researching this he just said to me ... "When someone calls me a cunt I just say thank you, I'm glad you think I'm warm and full of depth" Ha ha, that's my boy ... but maybe you should add powerful, knowing and full of mystery too.

I hope that you too find a way to put this word back in it's rightful place and whilst you are pondering the 'con'notations of said word maybe you would like a beautiful piece of art work by Mother Nature herself to stare at. Enjoy.

Heidi x

This bloggery is dedicated to cunts everywhere.

Flower photo by Mario de Lisjer

Thursday, 16 August 2012

Moon Mother Me

I wasn't sure how exactly I was going to put this into words, so have waited a little and find I'm still not sure. Sometimes happenings are so profound that they defy written containment ... but I'll try ... and fail to convey the enormity of the experience that was my Moon Mother initiation, no doubt.

I met Miranda Gray back in 2009 and was wowed by her wisdom. So much she had to say resonated with what I was already feeling. She is Purity and Grace personified and her gentle ways wrap around an immense Goddess power and strength. Her book Red Moon changed my life and reclaiming The Enchantress made complete for me my work with the Maiden, Mother and Crone. Miranda and I have stayed in touch on and off. Her work with raising the Divine Feminine to our world has exploded globally and mine too has become a path set clear before me by the Goddess.

When the Moon Mother training became available I was "called" heart, mind, body and soul. I was so very sad that I couldn't be on the first weekend in London, but finally got my training and initiation in Bristol last weekend.

My sisters answered their calling too from not just the United Kingdom, but France, Italy, Holland, Canada and Mexico. It was a truly magical time we had together, full of deep healing and shifting, opening even more to the Sacred Feminine and giving our commitment and dedication to a path of service.

A Moon Mother is a healer, a priestess, a coach, a companion and a celebrant for women on their journey through life. We are active channels for the Womb Blessing energy conveying the energy of both Mother Earth and Moon Goddess.

A blessing is to make the mundane sacred. The Womb Blessing returns a woman back to herself, connecting her with the flow of her own cycles and that of the Moon and the Earth. It was apt to find out that in other countries and cultures the word womb conveys more than the physical uterus, but a sacred space inside that can never be lost or removed. We sadly seem to have lost that here in our land. Time to get it back methinks. The energy system of a woman is so different than that of a man and our spiritual paths so too. There is so much about ascension in many traditions, but the path of women is often to bring the light down and make manifest here on this plane. The Womb Blessing can help each of us to do this, to come home to ourselves and be light bearers for our families, communities and the whole world. It is time now for women to truly move forward in their creativity, sexuality and sensuality without fear or dread, to own the power that is already theirs and step up to our wonderful changing times.

The Womb Blessing and Womb Healing can be used to honour or celebrate menarche and menopause, birth and death, marriage and divorce. It can help support and reinstate the sacredness of femininity to those who have suffered the trauma of rape or abuse, help those in grief perhaps through miscarriage, baby loss or abortion, to reconnect those who experience hormonal problems or who have had a hysterectomy to the energetic womb or to support times of change such as moving house or new job when the balanced centre becomes a little wobbly. The soul of woman resides in the womb centre and for so many it needs to come home.

For me the huge amount of energy, and I mean like 'tapping into the mains' huge, received during my initiation means that I'm shifting things very deeply at the mo. It will take a whole cycle of around a month for the energies to be assimilated by my body, thoughts and emotions. I have experienced a lot of pain in my physical uterus and ovaries, but have also been in such a state of bliss that I keep having to lie down as I cannot stand up when the energy surges. It will settle and then I will be able to be of use to all women on my path of devotion to them.

I am Moon Mother just as many of my ancestral sisters, mothers and grandmothers have been in all cultures, all lands and all times. These have made their presences very visible and tangible to me this last year and so much so this last week. I know I'm not the only one to feel and see them. I am Moon Mother alongside many amazing and dear women worldwide today, some of whom I've had the privilege to meet and be with. I honour you all, shine on. I am me, a very happy me, Moon Mother Me.

The Dreadess xx

This bloggery is dedicated to the gorgeous Moon Mothers with whom I was honoured to share sacred space and time with in Bristol, August 2012

Tuesday, 7 August 2012

Womb Moonbeams

By the light of the moon fifteen women wandered, each in their own time, across the damp grass of the field in the dark night to the tipi in the corner by the stream. They passed through the heart shaped candle lit entrance and bent down to enter the canvas womb.

Inside the fire was laid and they sat gathered round under blankets. Two men, wise, and gentle warriors both, carried a glowing log from the main camp fire and lit the carefully stacked pile of wood, shavings and papers. They blessed the space on behalf of all the menfolk of the tribe for the women. The full moon shone through the open door of the tipi as the men left.

The canvas door was pulled too. The women sat in a circle around the fire's warmth. They laid their bowls out, two in front of each of them. Some had made their bowls for the occasion from clay only that day. Candles were passed round until each had a flame afore them representing the Light Of The Blessing. Next the kettle of cold water went round and each filled her other bowl to represent The Living Waters Of The Womb Grail.

At midnight the blessing began. The women put down the deep roots of their womb trees into Mother Earth and they reached up high with their branches to the Moon herself. The purest of lights filled their crowns, their hearts and their wombs and they bathed for some time in the energies that flowed and swirled, shifted and shaped.

After a while they poured the beautiful energy from their hearts and their hands out to the land and to the world, with the most wondrous intent of raising the Divine Feminine and healing all of humanity. They could feel their sisters, more than 27,000 worldwide, all joined together in blessed union, hand to hand, heart to heart and womb to womb, in a sacred circle of moonlight.

Eventually the fifteen women returned their awareness to the tipi, their breath visible in the cold night air and the fire so very low. They added more wood and the smoke rose filling the canvas to the crown of poles. The women gazed up at a silvery blue moonbeam which shone, easily seen in the smoke, through the opening at the top, down into the heart.

The women warmed as the fire burned once more and they sang a simple chant. Shalom Salam Shekinah. Softly, but powerfully, urging the Divine Feminine to rise in the lands and for peace to be restored.

Then the women smiled and sipped The Living Waters Of The Grail. Then they talked and sipped hot women's tea. Then they laughed and ate chocolate cake.

By the time the last woman left for her bed in the dark night the moon had risen high so that it could shine in full through the Yoni of the tipi. The Moon had truly entered the Womb.

This last woman lay low the fire, blew out the remaining candles and closed the tipi. Then she stood still for some time in that dark night gazing at the moon, her bare feet upon the grass. Moonlight poured in through her skull and flowed strong until it rushed like a stream down between her legs on to the blessed Earth beneath.

The Dreadess xx

This blog is dedicated to Miranda Gray and is an account of the Worldwide Womb Blessing on August 2nd as it was for the women of the FreeSpirit Community Summer Camp 2012.

Sunday, 5 August 2012

A Celtic Blessing

A blessing for all of you today and tomorrow and forever ...

May the light of your soul guide you.
May the light of your soul bless the work
You do with the secret love and warmth of your heart.
May you see in what you do the beauty of your own soul.
May the sacredness of your work bring healing, light and renewal to those
Who work with you and to those who see and receive your work.
May your work never weary you.
May it release within you wellsprings of refreshment, inspiration and excitement.
May you be present in what you do.
May you never become lost in the bland absences.
May the day never burden you.
May dawn find you awake and alert, approaching your new day with dreams,
Possibilities and promises.
May evening find you gracious and fulfilled.
May you go into the night blessed, sheltered and protected.
May your soul calm, console and renew you.

by John O'Donohue

... enjoy and may you be truly blessed

The Dreadess xx