Monday, 3 July 2017

Othergirling

"I'm not like other girls", or "I'm different to other women" is just code for comparison, putting other women down and internalised mysoginy.
I used to do "othergirling" when I was younger not realising that it stemmed from so badly wanting to be cool and approved of by men. It's taken years of self healing and trust building to realise that the damage done by "othergirling" is vast and how much of that patriarchal crap we internalise, digest and spew out upon our fellow females in various ways, whilst insidiously eroding away our own identity and esteem.
This is part of the reason why I love women's circle work and Red Tents, there is naturally no need for "othergirling" or dissing the "club". We come to see very quickly there are no 'other' girls, there are no 'other' women. There are in fact just women and girls being and doing all sorts of things, in all shapes and sizes, all ages, with all hobbies, beliefs and outlooks ... some a lot like us.




The only "other" is that perceived by those that are still fearful and still desperately trying to survive in patriarchy. That is ok too. There is a space for us to hold that. But I'm calling it out, and naming it. It is internalised mysoginy. It's ok, we all swallowed a chunk. We are detoxing together. But there is no club, there is no other, there just is. Women and girls together, learning to love, trust and build community alongside the men we love and trust too.

Heidi x

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